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Ascension School
Ascension School is a private school in Oak Park that was established by the Ursuline Sisters in 1912. Its great place to ruin your child’s life. The uniforms would look more flattering on Steve Buscemi then on literally anyone there. They have gym twice a week with the actual corpse of George Washington. That school has gone through more spanish teachers than Taylor Swift has boyfriends. Only decent person who works there is the janitor. The hot lunches went “healthy” which I’m sure is code for containing human flesh. Half the staff wears open toe shoes so the children suffer through horrible education while starting at hairy toes. There are more health codes broken here then in a Mcdonald’s. The students are treated worse than the employers at the hooters on undercover boss. The only decent thing learned is how to roll joints taught by a kid that smoked actual oregano. You might accidently watch a religious movie where a girl is in an abusive relationship so she cheats on him to make him mad him then gets gang raped then runs away and almost dies but Jesus revives her then a queen helps her and has a lesbian make out sesh because a class actually watched this. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a rat in the gym smoking a joint, drinking, and shooting up some heroine all at once. The dances are jokes unless you get blessed by the occasional drunk teacher showing up to twerk on you.
Ascension School by Justice F. Harambe October 18, 2016
Related Words
Asensio
Some 12 year old kid who is obsessed with Marcos Asensio even though he’s just a sh1t Martin Braithwaite, he also loves everyone, and wants nud3s
Asensio by Bald_Messi May 28, 2021
Ascension
The first DLC installment in Call of Duty Black Ops. The main four characters arrive at a Soviet cosmodrome abandoned by the remnants of the "Ascension" group and are met with a horde of zombies, given the new perks (Stamin-Up and PhD Flopper) new weapons (Matroyshka Dolls and Gersch Device) they must outwit those of the undead. Also,this was the first map to introduce easter eggs.
Ascension Prevention
Ascension Prevention by Strange Brew October 13, 2012
Asscension
Asscension by Kurakuma May 19, 2019
Assenio Hole
Assenio Hole is a former late night talk show host in a parallel universe. He is also a friend to Sweaty Murfee and Hall of Fame basketball player Majik Dick.
Did you watch Assenio Hole last night? He had on Sweaty Murfee and NBA MVP Majik Dick. It was hilarious.
Assenio Hole by MrVoteLibertarian September 24, 2011
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