To research and make sure of some fact or detail regarding someone's behind.
I love kneading a pretty girl's shapely rump wif my hands, so I always claim dat I wanna asscertain some particular feature or quality of her delightful "rear fun bubbles" in order to persuade her to let me feel her up --- this smilingly-stated excuse usually does indeed work, although of course da cute chick always sees through my ruse, gigglingly saying, "Oh, you just wanna SQUEEZE MY BUTT!" :P
to assert one's dominance, you must showalpha qualities, and act as a clutch god. you need to show your strength and power over someone else, who you most likely do not appreciate.
person 1: i am very powerful person 2: are you asserting dominance on me?
person 1: yes
1. One who takes charge of and dominates asses like a despot.
2. The nemisis of the asspirate. Although their goals are similar they are loathe to share the ass-sea.
3. A man who loves ass-sex, but unlike the asspirate the ass captain in purely homosexual.
1. "I can't believe the way roberto lets mantooth captain his ass like that"
2. Asscaptain McClendon glared at his arch nemesis, the dred asspirate Roberts.
"I'll be damned if I share this eerr ass-oceanyee," exclaimed the insatiable Roberts.
"Then battle for the ass we must!" retorted McClendon.
3. "Man o man do I singularily love to tyranize a man's ass," said the asscaptain.
1. One who deems it necessary to boss people around for the sake of shameless self-amusement.
2. One who seeks ass of any kind.
3. One who captains the ass.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.