armchair magician 

A person who studies and discuses the arts of magic(k), treating themself as an authority on both the practical applications as well as the histories behind the techniques, with very little (usually none) actual experience in its use. This is a person who has probably read a great deal of literature written by members (or ex-members) of the Golden Dawn and/or a great deal of metaphysical theory (Chaos Magick being a common choice). Generally, these people come in one of two varieties, a: the overly accepting type, typified by the statement, "Well, it should work... in theory" and b: the overly pessemistic type, typified by the statement, "You can't do THAT!". Generally, the second type is deemed more annoying, being that they tend to have a highly negative reaction to any concept, theory, or technique that they have not already read about in a book that has been published for more than ten years. There are some, however, who find things the opposite, finding the rediculous ideas expounded by type a bordering on offensive. (a term generally used amongst Pagans, occultists, and other magic(k)-practicing people)

a: "Well, the theory is sound."
"Yes, but if every 'sound theory' actually worked, I'd have a twelve-inch cock and would fly to work every day"

b: "Well, Roger says that it won't work"
"Well, Roger is an armchair magician, and, if we listened to him, we'd all be doing lesser banishing rituals of the pentagram every time we wipe our asses."

armchair magician by D351 January 30, 2007