(Vanilla Asscrack) A crush you thought was perfect -hence the ‘vanilla’- until their bad traits start showing -hence the asscrack-. They could be dumb as hell, stank, etc.
V.A.L. is an abbreviation used by photographers that stands for "voice activated lightstand." This is actually a reference to a human assistant who, in the absence of an actual lightstand, holds a piece of lighting equipment and positions it according to the photographer's needs.
David's invited me to be a V.A.L. on his next shoot, since he's trying to avoid needing permits from the city to place lighting equipment on the ground.