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Uncle Precious 

A badass uncle who doesn't a shit about what others think! He's always welcoming and hospitable. On friday nights especially, he'll invite you to his house (which he cutely calls his lair) for fifa. Once you enter, you'll begin to notice, there is no TV. As a matter face, there is no furniture. Cum stains litter the walls.

"Wait what!" you'll scream,
"Cmon you know you love it" he'll respond.
He then shoves you into its scrotum where it smells like fish and the flesh hugs you from all sides.

Defined by his parents, Uncle Precious is a family sweetheart. When he was younger though, he went a horny rebellious teen phase. They would be eating dinner, when the whole house would begin to smell like fish. Yet the scent would grow stronger and stronger. Uncle Precious would come closer and closer. Hornier and hornier.
"What the shit Precious! It smells like fish!"
"Cmon you know you love it!" he would respond
"HE LOOKS HORNY!!!" My mother would cry, noting the massive bump in his pants.

"On the count of 3, 1... 2... RUN!!!" My grandmother shout.
Uncle precious would then run around the house terrifying the family members while stroking his member, his dick wagging in front of him like a happy dog.

Then, something snapped inside my grandfather. He pulled out the 16mm thumbtack from his front pocket. And pinned his scrotum to all corners of the house. He never misbehaved, ever again. Until, his sister had children.
"Please be gentle this time Uncle Precious, last time your rough scrotum really hurt me!"
"Cmon Uncle, do I really have to take Viagra the third time this day, I'm already bricked as hell!"
"UNCLE PRECIOUS: I'M GOING SOFT,!!!! I NEED MY VIAGRA!!!! I CANT BE SOFT EVER AGAIN!!!!!"
Uncle Precious by UnclePrecious December 27, 2023
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