The Veegs
Short for the affliction Video Game Aggression, or VGA, discovered by L. Rowell Huesmann of the University of Michigan in conjunction with the US Center for Disease Control. The disease is characterized with an unhealthy obsession for shader pixels, scantily-clad warrior women, and Hot Pockets. Sufferers will, according to Dr. Huesmann, become overly aggressive and proceed to kill every living being at their home or school as a result of playing too much GTA.
Symptoms may include sweaty palms; malnourishment due to lack of sleep; obesity, usually coupled with orange fingers; pale skin due to lack of sun; short temper at all things noobish; incessant teabagging; replacement of normal words with nonsensical acronyms, which are then pronounced as though they were words (i.e. "lawl" or "pwn"); and virginity.
Any person under the age of 18 is at risk for "The Veegs", regardless of any history of aggression, genetic or mental defect, or family or social problems, according to Dr. Huesmann and the CDC. There is no cure for VGA: parents are advised to smother their children and shield them from all forms of violent media in order to avoid the disease. Failure to comply will result in your sweet angel being turned into a vicious maneater before your very eyes. But don't worry: it will all be the fault of the video game industry, not you.
Remember: if you play a game, you're playing every gamer that game has played before. Use a gaming condom every time. As the saying goes: "Don't be a louse: wrap your mouse".
Also known as "Veeguh", the phonetic pronunciation of the acronym, as well as: The Stick; Mousey; Covanentitis; Plumber's Itch or Pipes; Linkus; Guitar Herosis; "A Case of the Kratos"; Apendi-Sammus; and "Getting an Italian Job".
Symptoms may include sweaty palms; malnourishment due to lack of sleep; obesity, usually coupled with orange fingers; pale skin due to lack of sun; short temper at all things noobish; incessant teabagging; replacement of normal words with nonsensical acronyms, which are then pronounced as though they were words (i.e. "lawl" or "pwn"); and virginity.
Any person under the age of 18 is at risk for "The Veegs", regardless of any history of aggression, genetic or mental defect, or family or social problems, according to Dr. Huesmann and the CDC. There is no cure for VGA: parents are advised to smother their children and shield them from all forms of violent media in order to avoid the disease. Failure to comply will result in your sweet angel being turned into a vicious maneater before your very eyes. But don't worry: it will all be the fault of the video game industry, not you.
Remember: if you play a game, you're playing every gamer that game has played before. Use a gaming condom every time. As the saying goes: "Don't be a louse: wrap your mouse".
Also known as "Veeguh", the phonetic pronunciation of the acronym, as well as: The Stick; Mousey; Covanentitis; Plumber's Itch or Pipes; Linkus; Guitar Herosis; "A Case of the Kratos"; Apendi-Sammus; and "Getting an Italian Job".
