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The Penis Monkey

The Penis Monkey is a form of masturbation where you get naked and climb a tree, then tie a string to a branch. Then, you tie the other end to your dick and jump off the tree while making Tarzan noises and swinging back and fourth like a monkey.
Oh my god, did you see Richard outside this morning? He did the Penis Monkey in his front yard and was placed under arrest for public nudity!
by Can you burn a Luigi board August 16, 2019
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The Penis Monkey challenge

The act of competing against others by attempting to successfully perform the "Penis Monkey Surgery" the quickest.
Man 1: "Did you see Tommy's new time on the Penis Monkey Challenge?"

Man 2: "Yes, I believe his time was 1:38!"
by Johnny Asswipe IV March 8, 2021
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Monkeys in the dark with pens

A metaphor used to emphasis a situation that you just couldn't see coming. Often followed up by the phrase "You just can't see 'em coming."
Malix: Nope, he just A Sploded right there.
Atolm: Like monkeys in the dark with pens...
Malix: *sighs* You just can't see 'em coming.
by Malix August 12, 2004
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