The Penis Monkey

The Penis Monkey is a form of masturbation where you get naked and climb a tree, then tie a string to a branch. Then, you tie the other end to your dick and jump off the tree while making Tarzan noises and swinging back and fourth like a monkey.

Oh my god, did you see Richard outside this morning? He did the Penis Monkey in his front yard and was placed under arrest for public nudity!

The Penis Monkey by Can you burn a Luigi board August 16, 2019

The Penis Monkey challenge

The act of competing against others by attempting to successfully perform the "Penis Monkey Surgery" the quickest.

Man 1: "Did you see Tommy's new time on the Penis Monkey Challenge?"

Man 2: "Yes, I believe his time was 1:38!"

The Penis Monkey challenge by Johnny Asswipe IV March 8, 2021

Monkeys in the dark with pens 

A metaphor used to emphasis a situation that you just couldn't see coming. Often followed up by the phrase "You just can't see 'em coming."

Malix: Nope, he just A Sploded right there.
Atolm: Like monkeys in the dark with pens...
Malix: *sighs* You just can't see 'em coming.

Monkeys in the dark with pens by Malix August 12, 2004