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The John Cooper School

A private school in The Woodlands, TX. Students are given outrageous amounts of homework, expected to follow an unattractive dress code, and also to follow several inconvenient and sometimes unnecessary rules.Tuition is very high, and scholarships are difficult as well as general admission tests (although several students clearly bribed their way to admission). A large percentage of students have been brainwashed into believing going to the same school with the same 50-100 classmates per grade for up to 14 years and having no life outside of school is really, really fun.
Student A: I love going to The John Cooper School!

Student B: Yeah, me too! I just love having my computer monitored and getting Saturday detentions for not tucking my shirt in. I also love it when my backpack falls on the floor and I have to go to detention again because the hallway isn't clear.
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the john cooper school

due to economy and expensive addition towards their new high class, state-of-the-art preforming arts center, now an *exclusive* preK-12 preparatory school, where parents pay $12,00 tuition a year located in The Woodlands.

known by kids at The Woodlands High School (voted the most snobbiest school in America by David Letterman) as "that snobby, smart, rich kid school"

A school where starting at the age of 10, kids first phones are iphones and droids, 14 year girls get their hair bleached and get spray tans, every single boy in the school has an xbox 360, and only top, name brand clothes are worn.

in carpool line, all you see are bmws, audis, escalades, and other ridiculously priced sports cars.

youve known everybody since kindergarten, and their parents, and their dogs.

by the 6th grade, all girls, and boys, go to professional hair salons

everyones perfect at everything, because thats coopers reputation

where soulja boy and kyle massey go to your birthday parties and you dont even care, and if you dont have a dj, you're poor

you live in carlton woods, and if you dont, well youre family is still a member

otherwise known as Hell.
a typical the john cooper school convo

G: omg you're new vintage coach purse is so cute!
A: it was only 700$
G: oh nevermind, its ugly

Hate Sink 

A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.
Jake's not really that big an asshole. He just serves as my hate sink.
Word of the Day on July 26, 2026

funiosity 

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.
"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"
funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007
Word of the Day on July 25, 2026
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026