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is my dad back from the grocery store 

my dad said he was going to the grocery to get some milk

he never hasn't back for 8 years
guy: hey siri is my dad back from the grocery store yet
siri: sorry I can not help you with that
guy: fucking piece of apple garbage

how long does it take for someone to get milk from the grocery store? 

about 18ish years

SIKE BITCH U THOT!!he ain’t coming back
Me: Hey mom where’s my dad?
Mom: He went to get milk
Me: How long does it take for someone to get milk from the grocery store?
Mom: ......

going to the grocery store

This is what you dad says when he’s about to leave you.
Person one: hey man why are you so sad
Person two: my dad said he was going to the grocery store

Person one: *silence*