The funniest/manliness piece of literature mankind has ever read. Perhaps it will be looked back on as the manliest book of all time.
To quote the author, Maddox (creator of "The Best Page in the Universe... www.maddox.xmission.com), here's an exerpt and commentary from/about his book:
"This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it’s about to be rocked off — permanently.
Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
* People getting drop-kicked in the face
* Phallic aggression
* Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
* Garish disregard for the well-being of children
* Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
* Intimidating rhetoric
* Obscure penile references
* The triumph of flannel over good taste"
- Maddox
To quote the author, Maddox (creator of "The Best Page in the Universe... www.maddox.xmission.com), here's an exerpt and commentary from/about his book:
"This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it’s about to be rocked off — permanently.
Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
* People getting drop-kicked in the face
* Phallic aggression
* Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
* Garish disregard for the well-being of children
* Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
* Intimidating rhetoric
* Obscure penile references
* The triumph of flannel over good taste"
- Maddox
Chapter "R" for Restroom Etiquette from The Alphabet of Manliness states:
"RULE 1: Don't Gawk At the Cock
If you look at a man's penis at a urinal, the packets of light known as photons are bouncing off his dick and are being directly absorbed into your eyes. You wouldn't drip visine into your eyes that has dripped off another man's balls would you??"
"RULE 1: Don't Gawk At the Cock
If you look at a man's penis at a urinal, the packets of light known as photons are bouncing off his dick and are being directly absorbed into your eyes. You wouldn't drip visine into your eyes that has dripped off another man's balls would you??"
by LoganP June 26, 2006
by pacey June 3, 2006
A book written by Maddox. Published May 30th, 2006.
This book is guaranteed to make you a badass motherfucker just like Maddox, and the chapters are defined below:
A is for Ass-Kicking
B is for Boners
C is for Copping A Feel
D is for Dump, Taking A
E is for Enlightenment (Women have never invented anything)
F is for Female Wrestling
G is for Gas
H is for Hot Sauce
I is for Irate
J is for Jerky, Beef
K is for Knockers
L is for Lumberjack (Caveman -> Viking -> Pirate -> Lumberjack)
M is for Metal
N is for Norris, Chuck
O is for Obedience (Training for Women)
P is for Pirates
Q is for Quickie
R is for Road Rage
S is for Sneaking a Peek
T is for Taunting
U is for Urinal Etiquette
V is for Violence
W is for Winner
X is for XXX
Y is for Yelling
Z is for Zombies
This book is guaranteed to make you a badass motherfucker just like Maddox, and the chapters are defined below:
A is for Ass-Kicking
B is for Boners
C is for Copping A Feel
D is for Dump, Taking A
E is for Enlightenment (Women have never invented anything)
F is for Female Wrestling
G is for Gas
H is for Hot Sauce
I is for Irate
J is for Jerky, Beef
K is for Knockers
L is for Lumberjack (Caveman -> Viking -> Pirate -> Lumberjack)
M is for Metal
N is for Norris, Chuck
O is for Obedience (Training for Women)
P is for Pirates
Q is for Quickie
R is for Road Rage
S is for Sneaking a Peek
T is for Taunting
U is for Urinal Etiquette
V is for Violence
W is for Winner
X is for XXX
Y is for Yelling
Z is for Zombies
In the Alphabet of Manliness, there is a list of all definitive winners in history. They are as follows:
- Me
- King Ghidora
- Steve Buscemi
- Lesbians
- Flying Squirrels
- Red Twizzlers
- Castlevania: 1, 3, 4, Symphony of th eNight, Dawn of Sorrow
- Kung Pao shrimp
- Theodore Roosevelt
- Moshi Moshi
- Ivan the Terrible
- Extra sharp cheddar cheese
- Monsters
- Fried chicken
- Chops
- Me
- King Ghidora
- Steve Buscemi
- Lesbians
- Flying Squirrels
- Red Twizzlers
- Castlevania: 1, 3, 4, Symphony of th eNight, Dawn of Sorrow
- Kung Pao shrimp
- Theodore Roosevelt
- Moshi Moshi
- Ivan the Terrible
- Extra sharp cheddar cheese
- Monsters
- Fried chicken
- Chops
by TaterMySalad June 10, 2006
The greatest book in the history of books. Ever since Chuck Norris spontaneosly came into existance. This book will guide you to be the most bad ass guy in the world.
Let's consult The Alphabet of Manliness.
by Ben Katz October 24, 2006