Summit Avenue 

Oh, boy. Where to begin? Summit Avenue is a street in St. Paul, Minnesota that stretches roughly 6 miles, running from the St. Paul Cathedral to the Mississippi River. The longest stretch of Victorian homes in the U.S., the street is chalk full of mansions, castles, history, and douchebags; it prominently displays the residences (or former residences) of several Fortune 500 CEOs, at least one U.S. Senator, the childhood brownstone of F. Scott Fitzgerald, the 36,000 sq. ft palace of James J. Hill, as well as the Minnesota Governor’s Mansion. Cruising down this antique street, one feels as if they were ushered back to a more simple time; a time when aristocracy was fashionable, servants were plentiful, and carriage houses were a necessity. All in all, Summit Avenue is a stunning street but probably a huge bitch to live on—so if you’re considering purchasing a home on the famous road remember the following: your friends will envy you, your taxes will reach near celestial levels, your kids will get made fun of, you can’t renovate because of the historical society, and it’s a fucking night plow route so you have to move your car every 3 days in the winter.

You: So I just bought a house on Summit Avenue

"Friend": OOOOHHH, Summit Avenue, eh?! (Annoying elbow to your stomach accompanied with a wink)

You: Fuck off, it's a two story shithole with carpenter ants and higher taxes than feudal Europe.

Summit Avenue by SummitResident January 20, 2011