Stage Shark

A “Stage Shark” is a person attending a concert that procrastinates & doesn’t get to the concert on time or early enough to get up by the stage because they are lazy or just not courteous of other concert goers, who have waited for hours in lines to get up front. The “Stage Shark” waits (unintentionally because they are too busy conversing & consuming alcohol & dicking off) until the main act, after they are trash drunk and tries to “swim” or aggressively push their way (like a pack of sharks) to the front of the stage by ANY means necessary including acting like complete douchebags trying to start fights; knocking other men, women & teens out of the way.

Once they start a frenzy they can’t be stopped! Their breath reeks of beer & they tend to be sloppy drunk; falling ALL OVER innocent bystanders other concert goers.

“Stage Sharks” don’t understand that alcohol is a drug because it is legal so they overindulge and tend to run in packs or groups which makes them feel more secure about themselves.

Candy look out! The “Stage Sharks” are out in FULL force tonight & even though I got here early & waited patiently to see my favorite band, one of them knocked me down and several others to get to the front stage! What assholes!

Hey guys, I’m going to see the new rock band in town; better watch out for the “Stage Sharks” who try to ruin everyone’s night...

Look at that “Stage Shark” picking on that girl who’s trying to watch the show! What a loser!

by WickedHellamean November 6, 2018