A sexual act wherein a fully-clothed, typically costumed subject pulls his/her pants down and squats the exposed buttocks down into a pie and wiggles around while being observed or filmed. Commonly associated with fetishists.

Synonyms: Hoboken Squat Cobbler, Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man, Dutch Apple Ass.

Variants: Crybaby Squat Cobbler, in which the subject cries while performing the act.

Dee: "What the hell is a Squat Cobbler??"
Jay: "It's when a man sits in pie. He sits... in a pie. And he... wiggles around."

Squat Cobbler by SeamusOLanigan May 20, 2016

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Hoboken Squat Cobbler

The act of someone in costume sitting on a pie and wiggling around. It is a sexual fetish and may involve crying.

Taken from Season 2 / Episode 2 of Better Call Saul

Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: snorts You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.

Hoboken Squat Cobbler by zednotzee June 5, 2016

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Tiananmen Square

REDACTED

"Hey, did you hear about Tiananmen Square?"
"Yeah, I heard REDACTED"

Tiananmen Square by [REMOVED] August 16, 2019

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slav squat

Refers to the squatting position often done by Russians and other slavic people while loitering/waiting outside.

I saw a Russian in a slav squat while smoking a cigarette.

slav squat by dEX August 22, 2012

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Surf Dracula Syndrome

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.

I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!

Surf Dracula Syndrome by AOmundson June 18, 2023

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Northstarring

Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.

Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.

Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026

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Plate of Brown

A plate of brown consists of foods that have little to no nutritional value, and are typically deep fried. A true plate of brown will also be accompanied by a dark soda.

Wanna go to meal hall & grab a plate of brown?

Plate of Brown by Cheddar Craigson September 18, 2020

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Larpenomics

When finance content creators rent out fancy cars and flex cash to seem richer than they really are in order to promote and sell their “get rich quick” courses.

Andrew Tate has mastered the field of larpenomics

Larpenomics by Rbois09 October 21, 2026

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