Spooge McGee

A secret menu item served at (mostly) every restaurant in the United States. Consists of one Dildometer placed atop a vast ocean of sauce and cheese. Not to be confused with the Splooge McGee.

Caller: "'Hey, I'm calling to inquire about the rumoured 'Spooge McGee', would you happen to have this in stock?"'
Recipient: "Name please?"
Caller: "Gage Anthony Sands"
Recipient: "Never call this fucking store again."