Sperm Burgular
Jane: Jim, why do you look so drained?
Jim: I awoke last night to find a sperm burgular sucking my dick.
Jim: I awoke last night to find a sperm burgular sucking my dick.
Sperm Burgular by Spooky is Back September 26, 2006
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Sperm Burglar
A woman who tries to trap a man by getting herself knocked up.
Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.
Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.
“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.
See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.
Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.
Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.
“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.
See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.
John: Jane is perfect for me—she loves all the kinky shit I do to her—even cumming on her face!
Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.
John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.
Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.
John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.
Sperm Burglar by Big Dongky October 19, 2019
Related Words
Sperm burglar
Dave, "mate, you know that woman who raped me 9 months ago."
Mike, "Yeah, why did you just bring it up?"
Dave,"I saw her with a kid that looks a bit like a younger me."
Mike,"She's a sperm burglar!"
Mike, "Yeah, why did you just bring it up?"
Dave,"I saw her with a kid that looks a bit like a younger me."
Mike,"She's a sperm burglar!"
Sperm burglar by Lukethesod October 29, 2008
sperm burglar
sperm burglar by Bitchen Clyde January 16, 2004
spermburglar
A person who is so adept at sex or blowjobs, the recipient of their talents contracts temporary amnesia. Therefore providing the illusion of their sperm being stolen.
"Dude, this girl gave me the most insane blowjob last night. I passed out and couldn't remember my name, she's a total spermburglar."
spermburglar by calysto September 12, 2011
spermburglar
referring to an individual who is adept at obtaining semen, especially in the anal or oral cavitities.
your mom is a spermburglar, and so is your little sister. oh yeah, and your dad too (he swings both ways)
spermburglar by cd December 9, 2003
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The pod person was pretending to be my father, but I knew that he was an alien when he acted differently than my father ever would have.
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A dead drop is a location used to secretly pass items between two people, without requiring them to meet.
Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.
A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.
A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
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A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.
A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
"The dead drop is the restroom toilet at the Gulf station at the corner of Commercial Ave. and Georges Rd."
dead drop by rubberroom July 23, 2008
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A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.
Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
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ulzzang
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