Sperm Burgular 

Someone who sneaks up in the middle of the night to suck your cock while you sleep.

Jane: Jim, why do you look so drained?

Jim: I awoke last night to find a sperm burgular sucking my dick.

Sperm Burgular by Spooky is Back September 26, 2006

Sperm Burglar 

A woman who tries to trap a man by getting herself knocked up.

Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.

Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.

“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.

See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.

John: Jane is perfect for me—she loves all the kinky shit I do to her—even cumming on her face!

Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.

John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.

Sperm Burglar by Big Dongky October 19, 2019

Sperm burglar 

A woman who becomes pregnant by raping a man.

Dave, "mate, you know that woman who raped me 9 months ago."
Mike, "Yeah, why did you just bring it up?"
Dave,"I saw her with a kid that looks a bit like a younger me."
Mike,"She's a sperm burglar!"

Sperm burglar by Lukethesod October 29, 2008

sperm burglar 

one who steals sperm by keystering.

That Brian Bates is a sperm burglar,faggoty ass mother f*$#er.

sperm burglar by Bitchen Clyde January 16, 2004

spermburglar 

A person who is so adept at sex or blowjobs, the recipient of their talents contracts temporary amnesia. Therefore providing the illusion of their sperm being stolen.

"Dude, this girl gave me the most insane blowjob last night. I passed out and couldn't remember my name, she's a total spermburglar."

spermburglar by calysto September 12, 2011

spermburglar 

referring to an individual who is adept at obtaining semen, especially in the anal or oral cavitities.

your mom is a spermburglar, and so is your little sister. oh yeah, and your dad too (he swings both ways)

spermburglar by cd December 9, 2003