Smash Ya Pasty is a slang word of North East England origin which means a man will have sex with a women very well,so much that the women will feel like there vagina has been literally smashed.
"man,i smashed her pasty so bad yesterday, she shit everywhere....kept shagging her though"
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.