Salt Farmer 

One who specializes in the humble art of trolling the likes of SJWs and Internet tough guys, in order to collect and concentrate the tears formed. Whether they’re CNN Tears, Liberal Tears, or Feminist Tears, the bountiful salt concentration makes for an enjoyable career that pays little, but is internally rewarding nonetheless.

Person 1: “Today I disagreed with someone’s opinion online with a :) after my comment.”

Person A: “Were you looking for a fight?”

Person 1: “Nah, I’m just a humble Salt Farmer.”

Salt Farmer by Arashiin April 15, 2019

Farmer John salt lick 

An act where a male dips his moist testicles into a bucket of salt. The male then climbs up onto a cattle fence with his testicles free for all the world to see. He then proceeds to call over the cattle which have quite the liking for salt. Whilst the bovine is licking the man's testicles like a melting ice cream cone, the male proceeds to thrust his penis repeatedly into the nostril of the cow until climax.

Old man Smitha was always sure to have at least one sick cow with a runny nose to prevent chaffage during his daily performance of the farmer John salt lick.

Farmer John salt lick by Kenneth Fister July 14, 2010