A pain more brutal than the ninth circle of hell, like the sensation 10 000 stars exploding below your feet, while being stabbed with a million knives from all sides. Thankfully these effects are not long term.
I stepped on legos. After the unbearable pain went away I immediately wrote a definition on urban dictionary about stepping on legos.
A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.