Phailus is a portmanteau of fail and phallus. It is used to describe a situation where one is dicked due to failure. It can also describe what a man has after he has been cock-blocked or what he has if he fails to perform in bed.
It is similar to phail.
"Dude, I was totally gonna hit that before her friend dragged her away."
"Epic phailus!"
"Hey, at least least I didn't have a phailus last night with that one chick."
1. (n) An act or action which either ends in or contains extreme levels of failure, far beyond most normal failures.
2. (adj) used to describe or portray an act which meets the above criteria.
1. Yesterday, Mike tried to jump off his roof to look cool, but pulled a phailbukkit and just ended up crushing James.
2. Tyler, if you don't watch out this is just going to turn into a giant phailbukkit disaster.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'