Phailus

Phailus is a portmanteau of fail and phallus. It is used to describe a situation where one is dicked due to failure. It can also describe what a man has after he has been cock-blocked or what he has if he fails to perform in bed.

It is similar to phail.

"Dude, I was totally gonna hit that before her friend dragged her away."

"Epic phailus!"

"Hey, at least least I didn't have a phailus last night with that one chick."

"No cool dude, not cool."

Phailus by Argetlahm July 1, 2008

philussy

Word made by Daniel Howell and Philip Lester. At the end of pinof 9, Daniel Howell decided to do a ditty.it meme. One of the main things said in the ditty.it meme was "Show me phat Philussy" which later became a big thing to the phandom.

"Aye man, show me phat philussy."

"Show me phat birthday philussy."

philussy by Phan.Member February 4, 2018

Quantum of Phallus 

A gay porn version of James Bond film "Quantum of Solace", starring Briggsy, the arty genius behind "Briggsy Does Brighton". Special agent Briggs Bond saves the world from "breeders" with the help of Q's laser-guided dildos and butt-plug bombs in between bumming every man he can get his hands on and smoking arty cigarettes.

I'm feeling rather horny tonight Cecil. We simply must go and see Quantum of Phallus with our pants down.

Quantum of Phallus by Eddie's Thick Gristle August 4, 2009

phallus fromage 

the cheesy sebaceous matter that collects between the glans penis and the foreskin due to a lack of personal hygiene, also known as dick cheese or smegma

The guy I left with last night had a particularly pungent phallus fromage.

phallus fromage by BzzMxn January 24, 2019

phallusmonger

An expert on the subject of penises, dongs, woodies, willies, doodles, dicks, erections, Johnsons, stiffies, junk, and other assorted phallic objects. Also cocks.

A phallusmonger may or may not be desirous of such objects, but they must necessarily specialize in the knowledge of them or deal in their distribution. See urologist, or gay pimp.

Willy gazed awkwardly down at the floor.
"Doctor, I saw this girl a couple weeks ago, and I think she wasn't clean... I think I might have a problem with my-"
"I'm afraid I'm not qualified to help you in that department." said Doc Johnson. "Here's a referral to see the phallusmonger."
He handed John a slip referring him to one "Woodie U. Wan" in the urology department elsewhere in the hospital. Willy cringed. "Is this some kind of joke? Couldn't you just, y'know, give me some pills or something?"

phallusmonger by Hank J. Wimbleton March 2, 2008

phailure 

A special type of failure, about 7 levels below failure. Failure so fantastic, it's written about in epic novels.

Man 1: "I heard a nerd asked out a model, what happened?"
Man 2: "Well, first she said no and threw her drink in his face. Then she got her quarterback boyfriend to throw the nerd into a trash can and down some stairs. Then the trash can spontaneously burst into flame and got run over by a marching band."
Man 1: "Dude.....phailure..."

phailure by Yogo540 January 9, 2005

Golden Phallus Complex 

Like King Midas of greek mythology, a person with GPC believes their penis to be magical, witholding the power to turn a queer woman straight through intercourse. A common syndrome among straight cis men who believe lesbians only exist for their enjoyment.

Derived from an addiction to pornography and the inability to believe women can enjoy sex without his mighty member's participation and, therefore, a disease that causes great inconvenience to all sapphics.

Guy: "Hey, you're only a lesbian cuz you haven't had sex with me, I can turn you straight"

Girl: "Wow someone is suffering from The Golden Phallus Complex"

Golden Phallus Complex by suamaede4 August 3, 2022