Pauly Needles
A Pauly Needles is a person who claims to be the know all end, end all of all things. He is a one-upper. If you went to Paris, well, he or she went to Monaco & watched F1 racing from the grandstands, which BTW he or she overpaid for the ticket only to watch his or her's beloved Ferrari lose AGAIN to Mercedes or RedBull.
A Pauly Needles will also spend copious amounts of money on drinking the worlds worst beers such as: Rolling Cock (Rock), Steel City, Lite Beers....if there is a Lite he will dirnk it. However, he or she will also call you a pussy for drinking Craft Beers (Note: only if it's craft beers that he or she didn't discover). While calling you a pussy, he or she is pounding back passionate fruit, lemon lime, cherry Truly's or Bud Lite Seltzers.
A night out on the town with a Pauly Needles will be interesting....maybe. If a Pualy Needles is out with the guys or girls, Pauly Needles will be texting all of his exes to meet up so that they can bump some uglies or he can get a blowie. The night will be dull until a Pauly Needles can somehow convince one of these exes to come out and meetup. Most of the time nothing happens for a Pauly Needles. If a Pauly Needles sees a friend about to hook up with someone the Pauly Needle will do everything in it's power to cockblock you. He or she will proudly yell to everyone at the bar: "If I'm not getting laid, NO ONES GETTING LAID!!" as he proceeds to chug his Lite beverage of choice which would make any normal human being puke.
A Pauly Needles will also spend copious amounts of money on drinking the worlds worst beers such as: Rolling Cock (Rock), Steel City, Lite Beers....if there is a Lite he will dirnk it. However, he or she will also call you a pussy for drinking Craft Beers (Note: only if it's craft beers that he or she didn't discover). While calling you a pussy, he or she is pounding back passionate fruit, lemon lime, cherry Truly's or Bud Lite Seltzers.
A night out on the town with a Pauly Needles will be interesting....maybe. If a Pualy Needles is out with the guys or girls, Pauly Needles will be texting all of his exes to meet up so that they can bump some uglies or he can get a blowie. The night will be dull until a Pauly Needles can somehow convince one of these exes to come out and meetup. Most of the time nothing happens for a Pauly Needles. If a Pauly Needles sees a friend about to hook up with someone the Pauly Needle will do everything in it's power to cockblock you. He or she will proudly yell to everyone at the bar: "If I'm not getting laid, NO ONES GETTING LAID!!" as he proceeds to chug his Lite beverage of choice which would make any normal human being puke.
"God Dammit, look at that Pauly Needles cockblocking Wes again! Last time I heard he went home from the bar and broke into Wes' room with a bent fork to stop him from hooking up with a friend. That Pauly Needle sure is a douche-da-douche da douche douche."
Pauly Needles by NaptownFL September 24, 2021
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