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Old Swinford Hospital 

Old Swinford hospital is a shitty money loving boarding school in the slap bang piss no where in West Midlands, The boarding houses has the worst vaping facilities apart from foster house toilets where everyone has a personal toilet with a smoke dispenser and the stone block toilet where all the dodgy deals happen. Vapes and drugs here are highly overpriced here, a smok novo can set you back 25£, 3.5g of bud can be up to 45 and a gram of coke can be as much as a whopping 60£. Dr sahni doesn’t pay tax, Mr Eastwood is lost, Mr Pardoe thinks he is a gangster, Mr macdonald-smith was bullied as a child and Mr Taylor is a jobless neek.
If you want to scam a bunch of jobless snobs, go to old Swinford hospital
Urban Dictionary Merch

Old Swinford Hospital school 

This school is honestly autism in a nutshell. You have the boarders noncing on the younger girls because they have social anxiety talking to girls their age. Most of teachers look like nonces, mr Eastwood is probably dead, miss Wakefield was in a rather questionable video published online, mr macken cries when he can't control a class. The year 7s give me brain damage and make me want to catapult them to Narnia. I have to eat my lunches with a knife with no fork. Dodgy dealings happen in folean centre and the stone blocks toilets. You have people wanking onto each others pillows and the toilet lids and shit smeared all over the floor. People who go other schools call it "poshy oshy" meanwhile if they went here for a day they would consider therapy. Most of the day boys aren't even meant to be in this shithole and wish they could move somewhere else. If you are picking this school for one of your options, please consider not communicating with anyone that looks like a melt. if you like this school please reconsider your actions you fuckin neek. we get people inside the school so that we earn money from the government, they usually last a week or get knocked out by being too cocky. xoxo

Yours faithfully,
shush
year 6 - "I want to go to old Swinford hospital school, I am going to consider shooting myself in 5 years time!"
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