Murphy's Law of Log-Splitter-Ram Positioning

"If you draw the ram back just part-way, the next log will be an extra-long one for which you'll hafta lengthen the splitting-gap more, but if you pause to draw the ram back all the way, then the next log will be really SHORT, and so your zassprated helper will hafta ears-smokingly wait till you hastily reverse the valve-handle and the ram takes it sweet old time creeping back outwards again to reach the end of said stubby log that he's holding!

I helped some friendly country-folks with preparing firewood for seasoning, mostly by operating their log-splitter while they sawed up wood-sections and loaded them onto the machine. Everyone was good-natured about the whole operation, but I still felt like Murphy's Law of Log-Splitter-Ram Positioning was often working against me, since I frequently had to adjust the position of the ram to either accommodate a longer wood-piece or move it in closer to the end of the log.

Murphy's Law of Log-Splitter-Ram Positioning by QuacksO April 12, 2026