Monkey Mustard is when you fart so hard you shoot out globs of shit. Similar to shart.
Becky: -LOUD AGGRESIVE FART- (also sounds bubbly, and sounds like when you squish flarp.) Keisha: OOoo girl you definitely just shot out some monkey mustard.
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.