Midwife Crisis

The act of dropping a newborn on its head shortly after birth.

Please direct your thoughts and prayers to little Jimmy, Nurse Butterfingers had a midwife crisis.

by Aaron Gibbs September 11, 2007

Midwife Crisis

The period of time after a divorce when a man gets in shape, buys new clothes and a flashy car. Usually fairly short lived as remarriage is imminent. Very similar to a midlife crises but not age related.

Have you seen John's new wardrobe? Ever since his divorce he is having total midwife crisis.

by CardWa January 22, 2008

midwife crisis

A state of anxiety triggered by finding oneself in the process of giving birth

"Oh my God- I'm having a midwife crisis!"

by 321 barbie March 13, 2012

Midwife Crisis

When a midwife is performing a long and vigorous delivery and needs to change her tampon desperately

The baby cried too much because of a midwife crisis.

by Andy K April 18, 2004

Midlife Crisis

When a person regrets how they have lived his or her life, and they attempt to 'correct' their mental issue in a variety of ways which usually always harms themselves or those closest to them.

Bob: "Hey Tim, how's it going brah?! I just had a revelation. I realize I hate my life up to now and feel like I jumped into this marriage. I'm planning to divorce my wife and am gonna sell this stupid station wagon. Pretty badass huh?"

Tim: "Umm, Bob? You're 47 years old. You've been married for 24 years, have 3 kids and another on the way. And what does brah mean? I think you're having a midlife crisis, you might want to rethink this. I mean you have a plastic hip and a pacemaker!"

Bob: "Nah you're crazy brah, I already asked that hot intern out and put a down payment on a Corvette. Life is gonna be great. And let's keep that pacemaker thing on the downlow."

Tim: "But you'll have to pay child support, alimony, and still have your 'great life' to pay for."

Bob: "Timmy my friend, that's what credit cards are for."

Tim: "Whatever. Enjoy bankruptcy."

by Zastro November 28, 2009

mid-wife crisis

When a married woman with kids hits 40, decides its a good time in her life to attempt re-living her 20s, bails on her marriage of multiple years and proceeds to dive off the deep end of craziness, partying, and dating any guy who will pay attention to her.

Dude, don't talk to that chick. She's gone insane, and she's knee-deep in a mid-wife crisis!

by awestruck September 3, 2013

Midlife Crisis

The reason why my dad has a Mustang in his driveway.

Fred: What's with your dad's car?
Joe: Midlife crisis.

by maxaddicted August 30, 2010