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metaphysical turducken 

A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.
I'll never understand Steve, he's a metaphysical turducken.

Metaphysics 

I, as a philosophy major who actually studies this stuff, will post a real definition for metaphysics since many definitions are bullshit for the most part.

There are two kinds of metaphysics:
-General metaphysics (universal)
-Special metaphysics (particular)

General metaphysics is the study of ultimate reality as in the big picture of reality and is done empirically by most contemporary philosophers. Items of study in general metaphysics are categories, universals, attributes etc. This is not necessarily the study of any afterlife or upper reality; that subject is a matter of special metaphysics. Universals by D.M. Armstrong is a good example of what general metaphysics is.

Special metaphysics has potentially an infinite number of sub branches, each studying one particular subject. One such subject may be ghosts and spirits but most contemporary philosophers don't take this particular subject mater seriously. Topics that are taken seriously are philosophy of mind and psychology, personal identity, and aesthetics.

Unlike physics which studies concrete objects, metaphysics studies abstract objects like mathematics, logic etc.
1. In a hypothetical situation:

Ray Comfort: I call my paranormal investigation metaphysics to sound scientific.

Me: Most metaphysicians don't take your definition seriously.

2. General metaphysics

Do two red blocks share a universal property of the color red or do they have their own instance of having the color red? That is to ask is there a universal thing called "the property red" that exists in more than one place at one time or is there no such thing?

3. Special metaphysics (personal identity):
Is a fetus identical to a person in the future? If so then the fetus is a person. If not then it is not a person.
Metaphysics by SocraticFox March 6, 2012

metaphysico-theologo-cosmolonigology

The science taught by Master Pangloss in the novel Candide. It is the science of cause and effect.
The science of metaphysico-theologo-cosmolonigology states that "The nose is formed for spectacles, therefore we wear spectacles."

Metaphysics 

1. A branch of philosophy that studies the relationship between mind and matter

2. Often used to describe things that lack the "facts" to be classified as "real" or accepted

3. Related to paranormal phenomena
I plan to take a class on Metaphysics.
Metaphysics by Shay'oul December 19, 2003

Metaphysics 

A branch of philosophy that deals with the study of nature regarding existence and the Universe.
It tells you whether reality is real or an illusion.
I have an exam in Metaphysics today.
Metaphysics by viXXXXXXXen February 11, 2010

Metaphysically Smol 

A term for a person who is bound to convention and generally considered unobtrusive to those around them. Often lacking a distinct personality.
Jim doesn’t really bother anyone. He’s pretty metaphysically smol.

You don’t curse? That’s some serious metaphysical smolness.
Metaphysically Smol by Snidget September 9, 2019