Melbourne Syndrome 

The inability to contemplate or make plans for life after lockdown.

Melbourne has been under one of the world's longest and harshest Covid-19 lockdowns since a second wave took hold in July 2020, caused by the Government's bungling of hotel quarantine and contact tracing.

Since then, Melburnians have been detained in their homes and are only permitted to leave once per day to shop for essentials or to exercise for up to an hour. A curfew from 8pm to 5am also applies.

The leader of the dystopian state, Daniel Andrews, appears at daily press conferences to create the impression of accountability and transparency, while managing to avoid providing any specific information to his 5 million captives about what his government has done to address the failures that caused the second wave.

Secondary symptoms of the Melbourne Syndrome include the continual consumption of Covid-19 related media and an inability to complete other tasks until you have watched all 90 minutes of Mr Andrew's daily press conference.

John is suffering from Melbourne Syndrome.

Melbourne Syndrome by Chairman Dan September 27, 2020

Melbourne Sydndrome

The term given to the feelings of inadequacy found in any member of a small town or second rate city primarily identified by their unfounded hatred and jealousy of the larger more prosperous neighbouring city which is further compounded by the larger cities lack of interest in them.

This severe form of jealousy is primarily caused by the smaller city not having a stock exchange in their own town and causes them to “hate” the city that does.

E.g. Residents of Melbourne are envious of and therefore hate Sydney for its Prosperity, Natural Harbour, Major sporting events and concerts, Concentration of large corporate Head Quarters, Restaurants, The ability to great coffee anywhere as well as the ability of motorists to drive along a road without driving into pedestrians.

Their feelings of inadequacy are further amplified by Sydney not giving a crap about Melbourne.

Ask a Melbournite (especially if you ask a first Semester Uni Student who’s just completed their first Women’s Studies subject and has joined the Socialist Alliance or is a member of GetUp and voted for the Greens) what they think of Sydney and you will hear nothing but a tirade of abuse.

Ask a Sydney resident about Melbourne and they will say “Yeah, heard it’s nice there but I’ve never been” or “went there on business and had to laugh, they see three cars lined up at a red light and complain about the traffic”

Ask any male waiter with a beard or one of the "I enjoy dressing like a whole" bar wenches what a “pot” is when trying to order a drink and you will automatically be assumed to be a resident of Sydney and receive nothing but attitude.... Welcome to the "Melbourne Sydndrome"

This is also commonly known as the Melbourne Complex or the Vancouver Syndrome for their similarly unfounded hatred of Toronto.

Melbourne Sydndrome by Bob (aka The Builder) August 20, 2011