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Malcolmitis 

N. An unofficial disease contracted by everyone at some point. Symptoms may include drowsiness, aches and pains, and accelerated aging.

See also Malcolmish
Associate: I can't come into work today.
Manager: Why not?
Associate: Oh, I've contracted Malcolmitis.
Manager: Oh my god...Well you just stay home, I can't have you working while you're malcolmish.
Malcolmitis by Lee3PO September 30, 2005
Related Words

malcolmism 

Friend: So what's your religion?
Me: Malcolmism!
malcolmism by yousayfrickisayheck February 8, 2019

Malcolmsgf 

That’s malcolmsgf, shekina!
Malcolmsgf by Malcolmsgf November 23, 2021

Malcolms Toe 

When your big toe's toenail will not grow without cracking.
While riding on a bus, a tall man wearing cowboy boots crushed my big toe destroying the nail bed. Malcolms toe is unable to produce a strong nail and always breaks.
Malcolms Toe by anonymous March 17, 2023