Madsturbation
Madsturbation is widely frowned upon by the public, but it is a great way for weird kids to channel their hatred at their penises!
Madsturbation by Dillypoo November 3, 2009
Madsturbation
Madsturbation by Yeetdab June 11, 2017
masturbating to the dictionary
A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.
i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.
Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.
Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?
masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018
Comedic Masturbation
When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.
Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.
Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.
My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.
Comedic Masturbation by K-Rista-Raaah July 22, 2016
Bureaucratic Masturbation
noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.
My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!
Bureaucratic Masturbation by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008
Masturbation guilt
The sense of guilt you feel post-masturbation when you realized what you have just jerked yourself off to.
Masturbation guilt by GunaDK January 19, 2012
Public Masturbation
Public Masturbation by thepseudonymousbosch February 21, 2017
More from Urban Dictionary
Bunhead
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
trucker's tan
A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
trucker's tan by population361 May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
kidulting
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
Boffin
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”
Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
Pee Calculus
When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026