From MLIW:

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

(651): I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his. TFLN

Today i went on mysteryseeker.com to see what my mission was. It was " your mission is to GET OFF THIS SITE AND JUST BE THE NINJA YOU ARE!" i love this mission. MLIA

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak

yo man, i got a raise!

SICK BRAHHH

ya man, mliw