When one enters into an irregular bowel movement and produces a stool the size of a human babies arm.
Alison: “Brian, Brian….! Can you call a Paramedic. I have Limb Lump Dumped….!”
Brain: “Alison, not again. These irregular bowel movements must stop. Consider the local sewerage systems. They cannot accommodate stools such as the girth that you produce. Sewerage engineering has some advancement to make before correct distribution of your Turds can be achieved”.
When a woman is on her period and needs to shower, after removing her tampon she will need to partake in the act of 'lumpjumping'. Avoiding any clots of blood from her vagina as they fall out whilst showering.
I'm having the heaviest period at the moment, i had a shower the other day and was lumpjumping for about 10 minutes!
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.