Lotito 

Lotito Taquito is the devil in human form. usually in the SPECIFIC form of a feminine historical teacher that eats children when given the chance. if you spot a lotito, run the opposite way after pointing and yell rapist loudly, as a call for help.

police: where did you spot the lotito

victim: room 322

police: surround the 300s with oil and yell Mrs. Byers to lure her out. "BYERS GET OUT"

victim: DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU JUST DID?! HOLY FU-

Lotito: GWARRRR

victim: we're doomed for oblivion, the world as we know it is gone.....

**cause of 2012 (end of our lives)**

Lotito by matzi October 30, 2011

cold lotion

Coined by comedian Bill Burr and his girlfriend Nia Hill (aka the "Lovely Nia") and shared with his legions of fans via the Monday Morning Podcast.

Refers to something that should be good but ends up being bad. Originated when Bill was about to give Nia a back massage (good) but didn't rub his hands to warm up the lotion which resulted in Nia getting shocked by the sensation his cold freckle-marked hands on her warm skin (bad). Should be said like an African American pimp stereotype from the 1970s.

Person one - "I got a raise a few weeks ago and finally got my pay check. Turns out I was bumped into a higher tax bracket and I now net less than before."

Person two - "Shiiiiiiit bro, that be some cold lotion!"

-------

Person one - "I finally got a date with Margret. Afterwards we went back to my place to fuck but when I took off her shirt she had the worst banana tits ever. I couldn't get it up."

Person two - "Ooooooo that is some cold lotion son!"

cold lotion by HabsRule June 9, 2013

Lotto Noodle 

- An awesome name for a mobile app that Urban Dictionary editors won't approve simply because they suck ass.
- An awesomely fun mobile app for lottery players that accepts any string (aka noodle) and gives you numbers for the lottery 6/49, LottoMax and Powerball numbers based on your noodle (and) your GPS location.

John: Hey, give me some lucky numbers to play the lottery tonite.
Joe: Why don't you download "Lotto Noodle"? It'll give you numbers for anything aka noodle you'd like.
John: Like what I had for breakfast? or who I had sex with last?
Joe: Sure, it also gives you numbers based on your noodle combined with your GPS location so that it's unique to you.

Lotto Noodle by Lotto Noodle Corp. December 21, 2014

Lotioning 

To put in graft

“Bro I was lotioning a sweet one earlier”
“You’re always on call trying to lotion tings....”

Lotioning by Trinzico March 13, 2021

Spreading the lotion 

To dominate an opponent.

4-0 up! We’re now spreading the lotion.

Damn, that’s a hat trick by Occle, he’s spreading the lotion.

No way coming back from this now, the lotion has been spread.

Spreading the lotion by QTip57 March 7, 2020

Jerkin's Lotion 

Street name for Jergen's Lotion, famous for it's cock lubing masterbational qualities.

PETER: Hey, Bobby, how's it goin'?

BOBBY: Great, but I was just getting ready to leave to go shopping.

PETER: Oh man, I HATE shopping!

BOBBY: Oh, come on, I won't take that long; I'm just getting the basics -- milk, cereal, beer and Jerkin's Lotion.

Jerkin's Lotion by Bobby Brady July 3, 2006

im out here stroking my dick i got lotion on my dick 

audio message sent to some random user on instagram around 2018 - 2019 by rapper Stunna Boy Get Em. this was and still is used in meme edits

this isn't the first time he's said something like this either.

stunna boy get em: im out here stroking my dick i got lotion on my dick

people: is he the next big thing out of chicago!?!?

im out here stroking my dick i got lotion on my dick by genericnpc09751 November 2, 2022