Skip to main content

Loony Law 

A Loony Law is a law or ordinance so incredibly stupid, you'd think the politicians were either: on acid, drunk, or in some way mentally retarded.

Some Loony Laws....

In Chicago, it's against the law for exceedingly ugly people to appear in public.

It is illegal in Salem, WV to leave home without knowing where you are going.

In California you can own one bear gallbladder but no more.

It's against the law to put coins in your ears in Hawaii.

It is illegal for politicians to give away free booze on election day in Kentucky.

It is illegal to catch a lobster with your bare hands in Maine.

It's illegal to let your horse ride in the back seat of your car in Hillsboro, OR.

Funeral directors can be arrested for swearing in front of a dead body in Neveda.

It's against the law to marry your mother-in-law in Washington DC.

You can't draw funny faces on window shades in Garfield county Montana.

In a business office it's against the law for a women to take a bath in Carmel, CA.

In Las Vegas, pawning your dentures is illegal.

You need a permit to legally wear high heeled shoes in Carmel, CA.

In Minnesota, it's illegal to sleep naked.

It's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits in Natoma, KS.

A man must remove his hat if he comes face to face with a cow in Fruithill, KY.

It's against the law for a man in Detroit to scowl at his wife on Sunday.

In Tulsa OK, it's illegal to sleep with your boots on.

Funeral Directors in Shreveport LA are prohibited from giving away matchbooks.

In Lubbock TX, it's illegal to sleep in a garbage can.

If you're older then 88, it's illegal to ride a motorcycle in Idaho Falls ID.

In Michigan it is illegal to tie a crocodile to a fire hydrant.

It is illegal to dry men's and women's underwear on the same clothesline in Minnesota.

In Vermont, it's against the law to whistle underwater.

It's illegal to fall asleep in a cheese factory in South Dakota.

You have to be a licensed electrician to change a light bulb in Victoria, Australia.

Advertising on tombstones is illegal in Roanoke VA.

Playing dominoes is illegal on Sunday in Alabama.

It's against the law to say "Oh Boy" in Jonesboro, GA.

Children that have unusual haircuts can be arrested in Mesquite TX.

It's a $500 fine to explode an atomic bomb in Chico CA.

Eating snakes is illegal in Kansas.

It's against the law to fish for trout from the back of a giraffe in Idaho.

It's unlawful for elephants to drink beer in Natchez, MS.

By law, donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs in Arizona.

It's illegal for dogs and cats to fight in Barber, NC.

It's against the law to drive a car while sleeping in Tennessee.

It's legal for a cop to bite a dog in Paulding, OH.

It is illegal for barbers to eat onions between 7am and 7 pm in Waterloo, NE.

You cannot move your bed in Huntsville, AL without a permit.

It's illegal to walk your elephant without a leash in Wisconsin.

In Wisconsin, it's against the law to feed prisoners margarine instead of butter.

It's illegal to wiggle while you dance in Stockton, CA.

In Clawson City, MI, it's illegal to sleep with chickens.

It is illegal for a patient to pull a dentists tooth in Yukon, OK.

It's illegal to cross the street on your hands in Hartford CT.

The law in Omaha, NE prohibits barbers from shaving the chests of customers.

It's illegal to put a skunk in your bosses desk in Michigan.

It's illegal to drive while blindfolded in Birmingham, AL.

It's illegal to hunt whales from your car in California.

Butchers cannot serve on a murder jury trial in South Carolina.

A women may not strip in front of a picture of a man in Oxford, OH.

It's illegal for more then 8 rabbits to live on the same block in Tuscumbia, AL.

It's against the law to use dirty underwear as a dust rag in California.

It's against the law to shoot or hunt a camel in Arizona.

It's illegal to shake a feather duster in someone's face in Portland, OR.

It's illegal to cook more then 100 donuts a day in Oak Park, IL.

It's illegal to drink beer from a bucket while sitting on a curb in St Louis.

It's against the law to make faces at school children while they are studying in Atlanta, GA.

It's illegal to lasso a fish in Knoxville, TN.

Law forbids cows and horses from sleeping in a bakery in Cotton Valley, LA.

In South Bend, IN., it's against the law to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.

Unless you're in church, tightrope walking is illegal in Winchester, MA.

In Minnesota, the maximum penalty for double parking is working on a chain gang with nothing to eat but bread and water.

You can't whistle in a bar in Hawaii.

You cannot teach your pets to smoke in Zion, IL

It's against the law to bathe 2 babies in the same tub in Los Angeles.

In California it's illegal to peel an orange in your hotel room.

Woman cannot be on a highway in a bathing suit unless they are carrying a club in Kentucky.

Any fire company responding to a fire in Marblehead, MA must be provided a 3-gallon jug of rum.

It's illegal to surf nude or with a sock over a mans manhood in Margate City, NJ.

In Ohio it's illegal to fish for whales in lakes, streams, or rivers.
That's a long list of Loony Laws
Loony Law by The Fascist Marxist February 27, 2009
Loony Law mug front
Get the Loony Law mug.
See more merch

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016
Noun. Portmanteau of "street" and "road": it describes a street, er, road, built for high speed, but with multiple access points. Excessive width is a common feature. A common feature in suburbia, especially along commercial strips. Unsafe at any speed, their extreme width and straightness paradoxically induces speeding. Somewhat more neutral than synonymous traffic sewer.
Did you see what the traffic engineers want to do to our street? They're going to turn it into a total stroad!
Stroad by hammersklavier February 21, 2012