Jobsworth spam dagger

When a fat, greasy bar man hunts you down because you wont take your wood away and there's a band coming at 6 but your stranded due to adverse weather conditions and your trying to find a canoe

Look you jobsworth spam dagger.. i'm trying to get a canoe to get to you but i might not be there before the band gets there at 6 so you might have to be a hero and cut the wood with your fat spam axe.