You let your payots grow and conceil them with a cap. You also have to get circumsiced, but keep the cut forskin in the dick as a skin ring. When you screw a girl, start screaming at the top of your lungs, remove your cap and pull out to reveal your fallen foreskin. The girl will think she turned you jewish.
Dude, when I gave that nazi chick a Jewish Turning Surprise, she cried like she deshonored the Führer himself!
When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.