Innate Dick
Someone who doesn't mean to be a dick, they just naturally have no regard for anyone besides themselves. This person will automatically have one of your cigarettes lit in their mouth before you realize what's happened. They never thank you but will demand praise for any "gesture" they do for you, regardless of how small. It's bad if you don't praise them because it required a lot of effort for them to tame all of their instinctive impulses urging them to meet their own list of needs. Very self-important, should you fall short in catering to their will, you will (hopefully-0.05% chance) be disregarded or (more likely- 95.5% chance) be met with disdain and made aware of their annoyance with you.
EX.1
*Takes another one of your cigarettes without asking*
Me: "How many of my cigarettes have you taken?"
Innate Dick: "It's only my fourth one.. chill out"
EX 2
~ Innate Dick in a roommate scenario~
Roommate: {sees ID's junk at the bottom of the stairs, dusty from sitting there for a month, and brings them up for him because it's no big deal}
Innate Dick: {sees Roommate's junk at the bottom of the stairs, sat there for two days. Now every time ID sees your face he will remind you to "please bring your stuff up" with a furrowed brow that's meant to make you feel like a slacker}
EX3
~friendship scenario~
Do not expect to be offered any comfort items- food, drink, a place to sit- just do it because remember, he won't acknowledge your needs on any level. That would be highly unnatural and cause for suspicion.
EX4
*Innate Dick as a passenger in a car*
The Innate Dick must control music selection always
If he fails at doing this, he will put in his headphones and turn it up loud so you hear it even with your music playing.
You'll turn your music up since it is now competing with his headphones but he will demand you turn it down.
And, despite having his headphones in, he'll still judge you for your music taste. Saying something like, "Seriously, do you play these songs to annoy me..." accompanied by a look of disdain.
This all comes after you have catered to his will, driving him around to fulfill his wants all day.
*Takes another one of your cigarettes without asking*
Me: "How many of my cigarettes have you taken?"
Innate Dick: "It's only my fourth one.. chill out"
EX 2
~ Innate Dick in a roommate scenario~
Roommate: {sees ID's junk at the bottom of the stairs, dusty from sitting there for a month, and brings them up for him because it's no big deal}
Innate Dick: {sees Roommate's junk at the bottom of the stairs, sat there for two days. Now every time ID sees your face he will remind you to "please bring your stuff up" with a furrowed brow that's meant to make you feel like a slacker}
EX3
~friendship scenario~
Do not expect to be offered any comfort items- food, drink, a place to sit- just do it because remember, he won't acknowledge your needs on any level. That would be highly unnatural and cause for suspicion.
EX4
*Innate Dick as a passenger in a car*
The Innate Dick must control music selection always
If he fails at doing this, he will put in his headphones and turn it up loud so you hear it even with your music playing.
You'll turn your music up since it is now competing with his headphones but he will demand you turn it down.
And, despite having his headphones in, he'll still judge you for your music taste. Saying something like, "Seriously, do you play these songs to annoy me..." accompanied by a look of disdain.
This all comes after you have catered to his will, driving him around to fulfill his wants all day.
Innate Dick by It was fucking good ham May 13, 2019
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