Guessturbation 

The seemingly endless and indulgent media speculation before an anticipated event, such as product launches or trial verdicts.

Before Apple's WWDC, the media was climaxing in guessturbation.

Guessturbation by UrbanMervyn June 7, 2013

Grassturbation

Sexually stimulating one’s self with the thought and process of excessive lawn care, grass mowing, and other yard maintenance activities.

Do you think he goes home and stimulates throgu grassturbation? Grassturbates maybe?

Grassturbation by TheLightningPhoenix September 3, 2020

gleesturbation 

The act of pleasuring oneself via the most ridiculously unnecessary piece of TV drivel since The View. It is most often obnoxious and somewhat obscene to non-Gleeks who cringe when hearing one of the overwrought mashup monstrosities so popularized by the show.

My roommate was gleesturbating all last night because he "needed to catch up for the next season". If I have to hear that shitty version of Golddigger one more time, Im'ma cut a bitch.

Hell is other people's Gleesturbation.
-Oscar Wilde

gleesturbation by maximillian.arthur April 14, 2010

geeksturbation 

The frenzy of quasi-orgasmic excitement experienced by the general body of nerds, techies, and oddballs (the geek community) in response to the release or publication of new and/or long awaited science fiction or geek related media.

The premiere of the new Star Trek movie incited widespread geeksturbation.

geeksturbation by watertown strip April 14, 2009

Grassturbation

Sexually stimulating one’s self with the thought and process of excessive lawn care, grass mowing, and other yard maintenance activities.

Do you think he goes home and stimulates through grassturbation? Grassturbates maybe?

Grassturbation by TheLightningPhoenix September 22, 2020