gleesturbation

The act of pleasuring oneself via the most ridiculously unnecessary piece of TV drivel since The View. It is most often obnoxious and somewhat obscene to non-Gleeks who cringe when hearing one of the overwrought mashup monstrosities so popularized by the show.

My roommate was gleesturbating all last night because he "needed to catch up for the next season". If I have to hear that shitty version of Golddigger one more time, Im'ma cut a bitch.

Hell is other people's Gleesturbation.
-Oscar Wilde

by maximillian.arthur April 14, 2010

Guessturbation

The seemingly endless and indulgent media speculation before an anticipated event, such as product launches or trial verdicts.

Before Apple's WWDC, the media was climaxing in guessturbation.

by UrbanMervyn June 7, 2013

geeksturbation

The frenzy of quasi-orgasmic excitement experienced by the general body of nerds, techies, and oddballs (the geek community) in response to the release or publication of new and/or long awaited science fiction or geek related media.

The premiere of the new Star Trek movie incited widespread geeksturbation.

by watertown strip April 14, 2009