Glitter Terrorist

A snarky, nefarious foe that sprinkles “pixie dust” aka glitter, on other beings and objects. As we all know, herpes lasts Forever which is usually longer than love in most cases and Glitter outlasts Herpes, so glitter is eternal. If you love someone, send them a card full of glitter. If you despise someone, send them a card and envelope filled with glitter. It is like a feral cat marking it’s territory by spraying everything and everyone in a home. Glitter lasts forever and stays in your car, ears, hair, clothes, carpet, floor, couches, etc. It should be considered an act of terrorism to send a glitter laden item to any foreign country, diplomat, or hostile zone as they are forever marked by the enemy and easily spotted. In fact, even Hallmark cards is involved in these games of subterfuge with their Willy-nilly sales of sparkly glitter cards and wrapping paper. Acts of random Glitter Terrorism and their WMD-all things sparkly glitter-are on the rise and one should be wary of opening envelopes this holiday season.

I have been glitterbombed by a family member, AKA glitter terrorist, who wrapped the family’s Christmas gifts in glittery wrapping paper and glittery bows with glittered gift tags to match. It took me a week to get all the glitter out of my hair, crevices, couched, the dog, linens and my attempts to vacuum the floor have been futile. Mission Glitterhawk was a success. The Glitter Terrorist scores another win.

Glitter Terrorist by Corabelle1221 March 23, 2020