Garance, a french piece of baguette, she will be the funniest, chillest, coolest, prettiest, hottest, sexiest, cutest out of all the girls within a 20,000km radius, if you got one of these all your acquaintances will be extremely jealous.
Damn, look at that 10/10 Garance piece of ass, idtap
I'll be in the garage is a reference to the show "Rick and Morty where rick and his lover call it off. He gets home and tells his family how life is meaningless and says I'll be in the garage, where he has a attempt of suicide.
Jake: Are you okay dude? That break up was pretty harsh.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.