G G Allin (born Jesus Christ Allin - seriously! I can't make that kinda shit up!) is a
legendary punk rocker who died before he got famous but lived after he got infamous. G G who played the most with the backing
band the Scumfuc's, performed shows that made the original Sex Pistols look like a fucking
Captain and Tenneil concert. His concerts can be considered the last true expression of rock & roll as a form of complete and total rebellion, because he left pretty much nothing out of his performances other than
murder or
suicide (which he promised on stage but never delivered due to dying a couple months before the proposed '
suicide show'.
His shows, which rarely lasted longer than a few songs, were punctuated by the absolute worst behavior possible. A short list of antics performed by Allin include taking laxatives before concerts, shitting on stage and throwing it into the crowd and/or himself, eating his own
feces on stage, forcing himself to vomit, stripping completely
naked bending over and shoving the microphone up his ass and then punching himself in the gut, and on one occasion clenching the mic, wrapping the mic cord around his fist and bashing his own
front teeth out with the microphone (he could only really do that stunt once, after all)
Seriously, I can't make this kinda stuff up.
Amazingly, women still found him attractive and he constantly got laid. He has a song about how bad his dick hurt after fucking a woman he knew had VD because he "just fuckin' had ta get a fuck". His longest
jail sentence came from abuse charges brought by a fat chick who told him she wanted to go home with him and have him dominate her. The specifics of the
case centered around G G fucking the chick until she passed out and then waking her up by fucking her in her ass and then burning her in the arm with a cigarette. His only comment at the trial was "I guess she wasn't as into it as i was."
He died in 1993. He overdosed, if ya can believe it. He was what's great with
America. This is my
essay.
