Frozen Logger 

Freeze a turd and use it as a dildo.

Johnny was nervous when his partner slid in the frozen logger.

Frozen Logger by Lagerhead June 9, 2017

Longer Than Frozen Turkey 

Someone that takes seemingly FOREVER or a very long time

"You should be stronger than me but instead you're longer than frozen turkey" from the Amy Winehouse song "Stonger Than Me"

Longer Than Frozen Turkey by Crystal Lee January 4, 2008