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verb | fel·on·i·fy | \ fə-ˈlō-nə-ˌfī \

To escalate an action, event, or object from a legal, civil, or misdemeanor status to a felony-level offense.

Status Escalation: When a person's legal standing (like an active warrant) makes a neutral event criminal.

Instrumental Escalation: When an illegal item (like a stolen car) upgrades the severity of an activity.

Legislative: When laws are written to specifically criminalize a demographic.

Street Slang: To transition from "all talk" to committing an undeniable, high-stakes crime.
Status Escalation: “The gathering was a standard birthday party until Eric arrived; because he had an active arrest warrant, his presence served to felonify the entire event for everyone in attendance.”

Instrumental Escalation: “What began as a sanctioned street race was immediately felonified when a participant entered a stolen vehicle into the lineup, escalating a sporting event into a grand theft investigation.”

Legislative: “Critics argue that new municipal codes effectively felonify homelessness by imposing heavy criminal penalties on those seeking shelter in public spaces.”

Digital: “The updated EULA attempts to felonify the use of headless browsers, turning a routine data-collection task into a potential CFAA violation.”

Street Vernacular ("Earning the Stripes"):
Ciera: "That kid is all talk, just playing dress-up for the ‘gram."

Carmen: "Nah, I was there at the warehouse when things went south. Dale started getting loud, and before anyone could process it, the kid pulled out his felonifier. He didn't hesitate—he just felonified the whole situation right there. Put one in Dale’s head like it was just another Tuesday at the office. No emotion, no panic. If he didn’t before, he’s got stripes now; that wasn't just a move for the camera, that was a life sentence in the making."
Felonify by D.1337 March 29, 2026
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An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020
Related Words

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Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

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A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004

schmegegge 

Yiddish slang word meaning bullshit, baloney, hogwash, nonsense, crock of shit or hot air.
I don't buy the schmegegge about Morty sleeping with Moira.
His version of the story was pure schmegegge.
The whole schmegegge was made up to get Liz a little bit of attention.
schmegegge by budsbabe February 1, 2008

eye bleach 

Looking or experiencing something nice after witnessing something horrid like a disgusting gif or a disturbing video. Typically used as eye bleach are nice images of whatever makes the disturbed person happy.
"Bleach my eyes! Why is that woman's face ripped off!?"
*Looks up images of puppies and kittens.*
"That's good eye bleach."
eye bleach by Rini2012 November 29, 2016