Felon's Tree Removal

A colloquial term for an arborist from upstate NY or other back woods place who employs felons, particularly, registered sex offenders.

He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.

Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.

Bro "Brah, where can I get a job? I just I'm on parole, so nobody's gonna hire me."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."

Felon's Tree Removal by Double take July 10, 2025

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Felon's Tree Removal

A tree trimming service from Chazy NY who hires felons - preferably registered sex offenders - to trim your bushes and peep in your windows.

Felon's Tree Removal does a great job as long as you don't mind rapists and murders peeping in your windows and casing the joint.

Felon's Tree Removal by Read it! July 14, 2025

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Fellon's Tree Removal

An arborist in upstate NY who employes felons.

Felon: "hey Carl, you hiring?"
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."

Fellon's Tree Removal by Double take July 10, 2025

Felons Tree Removal

An arborist company that hires felons to come to your house and trim your bushes. They charge extra to cut trees but will trim your bush for free.

Becky "I was going to hire Felons Tree Removal to trim the trees at my house. You think they're any good?"
Lateesha "Bitch, I don need no felons trimin' my bush!"

Felons Tree Removal by SuperWordNerd July 10, 2025

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Stealthie

when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.

This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.

FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"

FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"

Stealthie by gwenhyfar October 2, 2016

Word of the Day on May 25, 2026

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Summer Teeth

When someone has a lot of missing teeth.

Mannn, that dude has summer teeth!
What do you mean?
Summer here, summer there...

Summer Teeth by BeckPot August 2, 2012

Word of the Day on May 24, 2026

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Grindset

The grindset is a contemporary ideology of self-exploitation disguised as strength, deeply tied to the aesthetics of the “sigma male” and to new digital forms of patriarchy. It promotes the idea that human worth depends on productivity, economic success, absolute emotional control, and the ability to work endlessly, turning vulnerability, rest, community, and tenderness into signs of weakness. Beneath its rhetoric of discipline and power often lies a profound inability to relate healthily to pain, fragility, and human interdependence.

“That’s the grindset, brother. While weak men sleep and complain, sigma males stay disciplined, work in silence, suppress emotions, and build power while everyone else wastes time chasing comfort.”

Grindset by Omega-Male May 22, 2026

Word of the Day on May 23, 2026

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