Fartism (Updated Definition, Please Check Tag)
A new-age philosophy that states that farts, in and of themselves give life meaning and happiness. In other words, this is a philosophy that attaches prime importance to farts over everything else and necessitates one who follows this philosophy to fart 5 times a day to give thanks/homage to farts, as well as eat beans every day in Ramadan to please the fart Gods, on a very sound epistemological foundation that farts clear out the waste (i.e. darkness of the human experience), therefore fartism is the thing that brings light to the entire world (by eliminating all the waste/bad of the universe) answers all the questions of human existence and more, and is supported by all other philosophies/religions in the entirety of the world's history (as well as is a fundamental truth of reality whose true nature is acknowledged in some way or form by all philosophies/religions in history, whether you realize it or not/ is intrinsically supported by/woven into the very fabric of existence itself).
David just subscribed to fartism (updated definition, please check tag) yesterday. He is now a born-again fartist who has understood all things and has achieved 100% enlightenment, unlike Spongebob in that one episode where he said "I know everything now", yet that wasn't true cuz well, his brain is limited. Fartism is not limited, however, it is true and explains all of reality/is a concrete reality, whether our brains understand this or not. Take that, false* religion.
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