family friend 

A person whom your parents know, from that job they had back in the day, whom they've never quite been able to shake off. This person will continually reappear at social gatherings involving other family friends, who all seem to just orbit around the periphery of your parents' lives for years and years, like a fly buzzing around your head that simply won't die.

Despite the ever-repetitive "look how tall you've gotten!"s and "I haven't seen you in ten years!"s from these strangers, you are required by unwritten social code to treat these people as if they were at least close enough to be a creepy uncle.

Mom: Our family friend Carl is coming to the barbecue on Saturday.
You: Who?
Mom: Oh you know, that guy I worked with 50 years ago, and we just happened to keep in touch. You've met him, he saw your birthing, remember?
You: ...

family friend by Flameow December 10, 2010

Family friend 

A family who your parents know and they try to force you to be friends with their kids, eventually getting married to their daughters/sons

Mom: son, we have to visit our family friend today, go pack your stuff
Son: ok mom.

Family friend by Swagger gujjar September 1, 2017

Family friend 

A wealthy married dude that hangs out with your mom and pays her bills and buys you your Christmas presents. Meanwhile, she’s giving him handjobs on days when she is “working late in the city”.

Uncle Alan, our family friend, paid for my tuition.

Family friend by SonOfNJchurchwhore December 19, 2023

Family And Friend {Friends & Family} : The Firsts Juvenile Release.... 

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted tonperianal abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Family And Friend {Friends & Family} : The Firsts Juvenile Release....

Family And Friend {Friends & Family} : The Firsts Juvenile Release.... by LeSouffleDeVersailles January 31, 2025

Friend of the family 

someone who enjoys doing drugs considered harder than alcohol and marijuana

"Lori, is that molly in your bag? Tabs of acid in your wallet!?
"Yes, but hush, don't make a scene!"
"Of course, but that's cool! I did not know you were a friend of the family!"

Friend of the family by pancaketreehouse May 25, 2021

Friend of the family 

A straight person with a number of gay friends.

See Family

Joe is a friend of the family.

Friend of the family by GenxGeek February 3, 2012

Family Friendly Noose Song 

The best and most educational song on the Internet. The song is by Rusty Cage. It teaches you how to tie a noose and what to use a noose for.

I love the Family Friendly Noose Song!

Family Friendly Noose Song by Bitcharoux November 24, 2018