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Emily Bacon 

A short, feisty girl. She's beautiful, but she just doesn't know it. She's smart, she won't show it. She's loved, but she feels lonely. She has great friends, but she won't say so. She feels love-deprived, but everyone loves her. She's afraid, afraid of her past. She falls in love too much. She has a broken heart, but she can't show it. She is the best friend you could ever ask for, but she won't agree.

Emily Bacon is very aggressive, but scared; she's feared, but fears death; she's small, but she acts big. Emily Bacon is a different kind of Emily, not like the other Emily's on Urban Dictionary. She stands up for what she believes in, but that never seems to be enough. She's one of those girls you can't help but fall for. Guys are afraid to ask her out because they think she's scary, but this only hurts Emily Bacon more. If you know an Emily Bacon, be kind, generous, loving, thoughtful. Don't hurt Emily Bacon, she's already been through enough pain.
Jake: Wow. I truly hate Emily Bacon, she's so mean and scary!
Averie: You know, saying bad things about her isn't going to change her. Why can't you just be nice, she's been through enough!
Jake: Ohh... I never thought of it that way. Now I feel bad, you know I have wanted to be with Emily Bacon forever?! I love her so much...
Averie: then go ask her out you big dummy!!
Jake: But I'm still equally scared of her!!
Emily Bacon by I hate my life... December 4, 2011
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countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
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kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
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a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
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person2: ya he was a proper lad
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The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
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You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
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