Enlightened
Enlightened by Jafje May 25, 2007
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Enlightened
Being in one of two particular states of high achieved from smoking marijuana or the synthetic JWH found in some brands of incense.
The first level of enlightenment is characterized by a euphoric enjoyment of reading and writing literature (especially poetry) or philosophy. This is particularly true of the works of the Beat writers of the 50's. This state is best accompanied by medium low lighting, the music of Charlie Parker or Miles Davis, the poetry of Alan Ginsberg and Gary Snyder, a notebook and pen, and a pack of cigarettes.
The second level of enlightenment is more trippy and psychedelic. The Beatles "Here Comes the Sun" and coloring in a coloring book are the preferred activities for this state. Staring off into space "thinking about stuff." In this state, one may profess to be able to understand the meaning of the songs "Come Together" or "I Am the Walrus." The following examples are representative of the second level of enlightenment.
The first level of enlightenment is characterized by a euphoric enjoyment of reading and writing literature (especially poetry) or philosophy. This is particularly true of the works of the Beat writers of the 50's. This state is best accompanied by medium low lighting, the music of Charlie Parker or Miles Davis, the poetry of Alan Ginsberg and Gary Snyder, a notebook and pen, and a pack of cigarettes.
The second level of enlightenment is more trippy and psychedelic. The Beatles "Here Comes the Sun" and coloring in a coloring book are the preferred activities for this state. Staring off into space "thinking about stuff." In this state, one may profess to be able to understand the meaning of the songs "Come Together" or "I Am the Walrus." The following examples are representative of the second level of enlightenment.
1. Friend 1: How enlightened are you right now?
Friend 2: I'm pretty baked, in the sense that I feel like
the fried potato wedges under the warming
lamp at the deli in the grocery store.
2. Text from hot female friend: Just how enlightened are you?
Enlightened reply: If you were here right now, you'd
probably want to hug me, because it would seem like
I was about to turn into a cartoon animal.
Friend 2: I'm pretty baked, in the sense that I feel like
the fried potato wedges under the warming
lamp at the deli in the grocery store.
2. Text from hot female friend: Just how enlightened are you?
Enlightened reply: If you were here right now, you'd
probably want to hug me, because it would seem like
I was about to turn into a cartoon animal.
Enlightened by Random122387 October 29, 2010
Enlightened
When you get to that point where you think about a special someone's name, thus making you enter a state of pure ecstasy that can not be undone for at least 1 hour.
Enlightened by Mike Pwns May 26, 2008
Enlightened
Enlightened (n.): A level one achieves during which they can see the beginning and the end; a situation requiring copious amounts of narcotics to reach; becoming frivolously F***ED up
Dude 1: Oh man, that was sooo much! I can believe we did the whole thing!
Dude 2: Yeah man, its makin' me feel....enlightened! The unicorn will take me away!
Dude 1: Onward, towards the power of id release your soul dear friend! Take me with you!!!
Dude 2: Yeah man, its makin' me feel....enlightened! The unicorn will take me away!
Dude 1: Onward, towards the power of id release your soul dear friend! Take me with you!!!
Enlightened by Cazzer548 May 28, 2009
Enlightened
Jesus, Janet, would you take a look at this woke ass messiah, spreading his enlightened, sacral Chakra opening, kombucha drinking, kindling slap, opening your soul star Chakra
Enlightened by NateMasternatethingydingy November 28, 2023
Enlightened English Teacher Syndrome
The more an english teacher preaches living life and talks about it, the more work s/he seems to give and the less s/he seems to have lived life.
English Teacher: Class, go home this weekend and write a ten page report about carpe diem.
Class: Fuck! She's got Enlightened English Teacher Syndrome
Class: Fuck! She's got Enlightened English Teacher Syndrome
Enlightened English Teacher Syndrome by Dr. Aronson March 28, 2009
Enlightened Asshole
A thoughtful, compassionate individual whose words and / or actions are indistinguishable from those of a self-centered idiot.
EXAMPLE 1:
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!
EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.
EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!
EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."
EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!
EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.
EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!
EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."
EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
Enlightened Asshole by Guru Crossly August 29, 2012
More from Urban Dictionary
Boffin
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”
Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
Pee Calculus
When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
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