1 definition by Guru Crossly

A thoughtful, compassionate individual whose words and / or actions are indistinguishable from those of a self-centered idiot.
EXAMPLE 1:
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!

EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.

EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!

EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."

EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
by Guru Crossly April 4, 2012
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