A person who purchases and maintains an inventory of dookie (feces) to be sold to others.
I don't want to go to that dookiemonger Steves' house, because he has a huge surplus of dookie smelling up the place. I don't know how he sells it on eBay, but apparently some people buy stuff like that.
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.